Title: Three Months: A
Caregiving Journey from Heartbreak to Healing
Author: J. Dietrich Stroeh
ISBN: # 978-0-9822888-5-6
Website: www.threemonthsbook.com
Genre: Nonfiction First Person
Narrative
Reviewer: Caitlin Haley
There are few books today that allow
a personal insight into death. Most of today's popular reading material focuses
on finding romantic love or overcoming challenges that are far-removed from
death. The vast majority are humorous like Nicholas Sparks' popular novels or
Chelsea Handler's comic novels such as Are you there Vodka? It's me,
Chelsea. Three Months: A Caregiving Journey from Heartbreak to
Healing (FolkHeart Press 2012), on the other hand, focuses on author's J.
Dietrich Stroeh's first-hand and first-time experience with being a caregiver
for his wife of 20 years, Margaret. She was unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage
Four Pancreatic Cancer and three months later was gone. About her diagnosis, he
wrote, "When the doctor
told my wife and I that my wife had pancreatic cancer, we both knew enough about
that form of cancer to know it was quite serious. But neither of us knew what
the treatment options were, nor did we have a firm grasp of how her treatment
would turn our world upside down."
Along the way, they did manage to
understand and accept their situation. The poignancy of their time together is
succinctly captured in this easy-to-read 108 page paperback book written three
years after the author's wife died. Their personal story is interspersed with
useful tips and practical resources that Stroeh believed would be useful for all
caregivers.
Throughout the first-person
narrative, the author's voice is both powerful and moving. So are the
challenges that arise almost daily. A successful business man who is used to
running an engineering firm that builds efficient and effective structures, he
found himself facing the most difficult task of his life. He had to learn to
take care of his wife as best as he could knowing that in the end he would still
have to say good bye. The book's tenderness is marked by tears, frustration, and
unplanned moments of laughter that kept his relationship with his wife vibrant.
The key to their success was the realization that life is a gift no one gets to
keep forever.
Overall, despite the sadness and
grief that come with the death of a loved one, Three Months: A
Caregiving Journey from Heartbreak to Healing is uplifting and
motivational. The most fascinating parts of the manuscript were the
retelling of their actual love story and the author's ability to survive the
grief. " As I write this, it has been almost three years since I lost my wife
Margaret to pancreatic cancer, and in some ways, it still seems fresh. At the
same time, change has been an important part of the healing process. Until you
have gone through the kind of loss that breaks your heart and tries to break
your spirit, you can't know what gets you through it. "
The author had to abruptly relinquish
control and revisit his expectations. Rather than looking forward to years with
Margaret, he found he had only hours and months. A pragmatist as well as a
romantic, he was forced to come to terms with life's final passage. It is
non-negotiable and, yet, can still be met with dignity and humanity.
The book itself grew out of the
author's need to keep busy. He compiled the "can do" tips and suggestions while
learning how to wait for endless doctor appointment and test results. Thinking
about how he could help himself and others in a similar situation, he began to
research what options there are for caregivers to get the support and help they
need to be able to handle the tasks that lay ahead of them. Along the way, his
notes helped him get through some very rough patches.
Stroeh is an engineer by profession.
This is his second book. His first published manuscript, The Man Who Made It
Rain, chronicles his experience as water district director during an
unexpected and tough drought in fertile Marin County, California.
Three Months: A Caregiving
Journey from Heartbreak to Healing is available at Amazon (Amazon.com),
Barnes and Noble (BarnesandNoble.com) and at
FolkHeart Press (FolkHeartpress.com).
FolkHeart Press, a boutique publisher located in Northern California,
specializes in personal narratives and original folklore material. For more
information: www.threemonthsbook.com.
~Reviewer Caitlin Haley recently graduated from Sonoma
State University with a degree in communications.
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